My head is so full today and so my head feels rambled but this is how I am feeling currently…..
The Lord has blessed me in so many ways even though I am walking through some really tough mental and emotional and even physical things right now I am so blessed. For several weeks now in services at church, well even at churches that I have visited God has been speaking some things to me. I am still patiently waiting and letting Him lead me and guide me but this journey has definitely began.
I know that I will be needing lots of prayer with decisions and things to come in the future but everyday I am trusting God and letting Him lead me. I know that this battle that I am in is not going to be easy it is going to be hard but as the song by the Crabb Family says “He will take you through the fire again!” He has not left me and He never will -- He is my source….and I am trusting in Him daily, hourly, minute by minute, second by second!!!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Friday, July 31, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
28 years....
28 years ago @ 1:38 am on July 24…. The year would have been 1981….what do I remember about that day….well nothing…but what I know is that was the moment that I entered this world. You know how when you get to a point in your life and you realize that most everything your parents and grandparents have been saying that you laughed at….it really is happening. I mean I sit at my computer tonight, at 11:00 pm thinking that in just a few short hours I will be 28 years old….I mean that’s just a few years from 30 and I can no longer say I’m in my early or even mid 20’s I’m in my late 20’s….this realization may seem so under dramatic to anyone else but to me…well this is a huge moment…cause at this moment as I have heard my grandparents and my parents say so often…one day you’ll look back and say…where has the time gone….I used to laugh when they would say that but you know what I look back and I say…WOW where did the past 28 years go.
I have been doing a lot of remembering of things over the past few days – I get nostalgic at every birthday but the past few days have been something else for me. I was in a church service recently with my uncle Wayne and he said to me… I remember when you were a baby bouncing you on my knee and singing T for Texas and T for Tennessee…..and then thinking about my dad being at Virginia Church of God Youth Camp this week…I remember all those years at youth camp celebrating my birthday there or the day we were going home…memories so precious locked away in the vault of my mind, they are so dear and so precious to me, and with everything going on in my life right now…I treasure those precious memories and moments even more….. so should the Lord delay His coming until tomorrow morning July 24, 2009….when I get to post this online…I will be 28 years old….and while things are rough now….and will be smoothing out soon I know….I can rest assured that the memories that have been carrying in my mind, and the peace that Christ is giving me daily… the best is yet to come!!! SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! FELIZ CUMPLEANOS!!!!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
I have been doing a lot of remembering of things over the past few days – I get nostalgic at every birthday but the past few days have been something else for me. I was in a church service recently with my uncle Wayne and he said to me… I remember when you were a baby bouncing you on my knee and singing T for Texas and T for Tennessee…..and then thinking about my dad being at Virginia Church of God Youth Camp this week…I remember all those years at youth camp celebrating my birthday there or the day we were going home…memories so precious locked away in the vault of my mind, they are so dear and so precious to me, and with everything going on in my life right now…I treasure those precious memories and moments even more….. so should the Lord delay His coming until tomorrow morning July 24, 2009….when I get to post this online…I will be 28 years old….and while things are rough now….and will be smoothing out soon I know….I can rest assured that the memories that have been carrying in my mind, and the peace that Christ is giving me daily… the best is yet to come!!! SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! FELIZ CUMPLEANOS!!!!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Oh what a tangled web....
Oh what a tangled web we weave when life we feel we lose control. That thought comes to my mind so often of late and as much as I try to stop it I know that the only way to get out of this web is to fight the spider and smash the web to pieces.
As crazy as that sounds that's how I feel at this point in my life - I have so much to share - and some I will share when I am able -- but for now
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on... and I shall post something much better than this very soon I promise -- my mind is full of so many things -- and it's screaming to get out
As crazy as that sounds that's how I feel at this point in my life - I have so much to share - and some I will share when I am able -- but for now
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on... and I shall post something much better than this very soon I promise -- my mind is full of so many things -- and it's screaming to get out
Saturday, June 6, 2009
When is enough - enough?
As you can tell I have been a little silent on the blog front lately -- not because I have wanted to be but job and stress and other things have kept me from being able to write like I needed to. So this got me to thinking -- when is enough stress enough? I think I have been maxed out emotional and mentally for some time but now its seems I'm on overload. Ever been there before? I am to the point where try as I might I don't feel like I can get a cohesive thought process to form. Today is just a ramble of thoughts but it is because I truly want to know -- have you ever been to a point where you just have to say - with stress and other things and even sometimes people -- enough is really enough and I'm not dealing well with this -- so give me a minute?
Cause I think I may be there on a few things!......
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Cause I think I may be there on a few things!......
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Monday, March 23, 2009
Faith…can it move mountains?
Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” When I think of this scripture sometimes I ask myself where is my faith? Do I have faith that beyond any circumstance I know that God is going to take care of me and my every need.
You see for the past several months my car has been acting a bit crazy – sometimes not wanting to accelerate; sometimes just not going at all or dying on me; it’s also burning oil and I know this sounds like I’m complaining but please don’t see it as that. The reason I say that is because you have to understand something about my car – I bought my car brand new with 4 miles on it in 1999. It is a 1998 model but still it was brand new. When I got that car and then got married a few years later and realized I really didn’t have the money to get another car I made the statement to someone that I would drive my car until the wheels fell off and then I would put the wheels back on and keep driving….I have faith in my car that it’s going to get me where I need it. Well now I sit here and know that my car has 255,389 miles on it, but I still will sit and make the same statement, because I have faith that the little car I drive is going to stick around for a while….but more than that…I have to look at it this way…. I don’t have faith that the car can get me around and not mess up, I’m relying on God!
I know that my car is old and I know that I need a new one, but I also live in a reality to know that I can’t afford a new one right now, my husband and I combined barely make enough money to pay the bills, but this is the part that I love about reading Hebrews 11:1 - I don’t put my faith in this world because faith is the substance of things hoped for and it’s the evidence of things not seen. You see I don’t put my trust in man or the economy I put my trust in my Savior, Jesus Christ.
When you think of it this way – faith can move mountains – you see I realize something – that my faith in God is so strong and it is growing everyday – I have faith that when I go to bed tonight that God has dispatched His angels to protect me; I have faith to know that when I wake up in the morning that I’ll have a hot shower to take, I’ll have clothes to wear, and I will walk outside and get in my car and it’s going to run! That’s how I know that no matter what I am going through – no matter what I face in my day – yes I struggle and I get frustrated but FAITH! Let me say that again – but FAITH – can and will move the mountains that are in my way – and when I have to walk up one of those mountains I know that God will give me the strength to climb them – and I know that even though I can’t physically see Him – He’s always there for me and He will always be there to see me through – if I just keep my trust and Faith in Him!
the inner thoughts roll on...
You see for the past several months my car has been acting a bit crazy – sometimes not wanting to accelerate; sometimes just not going at all or dying on me; it’s also burning oil and I know this sounds like I’m complaining but please don’t see it as that. The reason I say that is because you have to understand something about my car – I bought my car brand new with 4 miles on it in 1999. It is a 1998 model but still it was brand new. When I got that car and then got married a few years later and realized I really didn’t have the money to get another car I made the statement to someone that I would drive my car until the wheels fell off and then I would put the wheels back on and keep driving….I have faith in my car that it’s going to get me where I need it. Well now I sit here and know that my car has 255,389 miles on it, but I still will sit and make the same statement, because I have faith that the little car I drive is going to stick around for a while….but more than that…I have to look at it this way…. I don’t have faith that the car can get me around and not mess up, I’m relying on God!
I know that my car is old and I know that I need a new one, but I also live in a reality to know that I can’t afford a new one right now, my husband and I combined barely make enough money to pay the bills, but this is the part that I love about reading Hebrews 11:1 - I don’t put my faith in this world because faith is the substance of things hoped for and it’s the evidence of things not seen. You see I don’t put my trust in man or the economy I put my trust in my Savior, Jesus Christ.
When you think of it this way – faith can move mountains – you see I realize something – that my faith in God is so strong and it is growing everyday – I have faith that when I go to bed tonight that God has dispatched His angels to protect me; I have faith to know that when I wake up in the morning that I’ll have a hot shower to take, I’ll have clothes to wear, and I will walk outside and get in my car and it’s going to run! That’s how I know that no matter what I am going through – no matter what I face in my day – yes I struggle and I get frustrated but FAITH! Let me say that again – but FAITH – can and will move the mountains that are in my way – and when I have to walk up one of those mountains I know that God will give me the strength to climb them – and I know that even though I can’t physically see Him – He’s always there for me and He will always be there to see me through – if I just keep my trust and Faith in Him!
the inner thoughts roll on...
Friday, March 13, 2009
It's in my brain....it's in my heart
Today as I was working at paperwork at the office I caught the glimpse of a picture of a friend of mine. This friend is not your ordinary type of friend, I don’t get to see this friend everyday, I don’t even get to talk to him, but he reminds a dear sweet friend. My friend Ever is from San Marcos de Colon Honduras CA. I’ve got to spend only mere days with him on missions’ trips I have been on over the last three years.
The reason I guess I thought about him was because of a song that was in my head. It is a praise and worship chorus “Open the Eyes of My Heart”. This song has a powerful meaning to me because of being in Honduras hearing Ever sing this song. Ever is a young man whose heart is so humble and I admire him so much. He wants to go to school and learn English to become a translator and to be able to travel with us and translate for us when we come to Honduras and then one day he dreams of coming to the United States and preaching the Gospel of Christ and doing so both in English and Spanish.
Even typing this blog now I can here Ever singing, “Holy Holy Holy, I want to see you” – the most beautiful English words I’ve ever heard sang. They may not mean much to anyone else, but Ever is just learning English so he’s vocabulary and our communication with each other has to be done through a translator, but when “Open the Eyes of My Heart” is sang, he can sing those words in English and we don’t need a translator to express the power of those few words. The thing is it’s part of the way I’ve also been able to learn Spanish which I am trying my hardest to do so I can talk to all my friends in Honduras without a translator. You see when Ever sings “Holy Holy Holy I want to see you” I sing “Santo Santo Santo yo quiero verde”
Because of the day I was having those words just keep playing over and over in my mind, I would love to be able to hear him singing them now but it’s in my brain, and it’s in my heart, and I know that God placed that song in my mind today, because it’s exactly what I needed to do…Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord I want to see You!
the inner thoughts roll on...
The reason I guess I thought about him was because of a song that was in my head. It is a praise and worship chorus “Open the Eyes of My Heart”. This song has a powerful meaning to me because of being in Honduras hearing Ever sing this song. Ever is a young man whose heart is so humble and I admire him so much. He wants to go to school and learn English to become a translator and to be able to travel with us and translate for us when we come to Honduras and then one day he dreams of coming to the United States and preaching the Gospel of Christ and doing so both in English and Spanish.
Even typing this blog now I can here Ever singing, “Holy Holy Holy, I want to see you” – the most beautiful English words I’ve ever heard sang. They may not mean much to anyone else, but Ever is just learning English so he’s vocabulary and our communication with each other has to be done through a translator, but when “Open the Eyes of My Heart” is sang, he can sing those words in English and we don’t need a translator to express the power of those few words. The thing is it’s part of the way I’ve also been able to learn Spanish which I am trying my hardest to do so I can talk to all my friends in Honduras without a translator. You see when Ever sings “Holy Holy Holy I want to see you” I sing “Santo Santo Santo yo quiero verde”
Because of the day I was having those words just keep playing over and over in my mind, I would love to be able to hear him singing them now but it’s in my brain, and it’s in my heart, and I know that God placed that song in my mind today, because it’s exactly what I needed to do…Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord I want to see You!
the inner thoughts roll on...
Monday, March 9, 2009
What a Sunday....
I’m sitting at my desk at home thinking about the wonderful services of Sunday. How God truly blessed in our lives today. It still amazes me how God in His infinite grace and mercy cares enough to speak to me.
My dad and I sang at song at church Sunday night by “The Crabb Family” the title of the song was called “The Cross” and while my female voice can’t sing it like Jason Crabb does the words to that song are so powerful and they have such a great meaning. The chorus of that song says “There was a cross made for the Son of God at Calvary, Two pieces of rough timber on a hill, through His hands and through His feet, He took the nails for you and me, Angels watched as He died for the lost, though He could have walked away, He chose the cross”. Isn’t it an amazing thought to think that no matter what we have done in our lives, the Son of God, Jesus Christ, came to earth as a baby in a manager, and hung on “the cross” for our sins and gave up His life so that we could live. I mean it’s the ultimate sacrifice….a debt He didn’t owe, a price that was far to great for us to pay, yet Jesus paid that ultimate price for us!!! WOW! I sit in awe of His mercy. I feel such a peace in my heart that I haven’t been able to feel for a while – a reassurance to know that know matter what, everything is somehow going to be ok.
Psalm 100:1-2a in the NIV says “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His” – I read this and I thought how amazing is this know matter what HE made US and WE are HIS. I love reading this in the Spanish Bible to those same scriptures Salmos 100:1 y 2 says – “Cantad alegres a Dios, habitants de toda la tierra. Servid a Jehová con alegría; Venid ante su presencia con regocijo” Just those very words spoken in the Bible today have truly made an impact in my mind.
Truly with everything that has went on for me on Sunday I can sing this chorus “My chains are gone, I’ve been set free, My God My Savior has ransomed me, and like a flood His mercy reigns, unending love, Amazing Grace.” I’m so thankful for that Amazing Grace, aren’t you?
the inner thoughts roll on...
My dad and I sang at song at church Sunday night by “The Crabb Family” the title of the song was called “The Cross” and while my female voice can’t sing it like Jason Crabb does the words to that song are so powerful and they have such a great meaning. The chorus of that song says “There was a cross made for the Son of God at Calvary, Two pieces of rough timber on a hill, through His hands and through His feet, He took the nails for you and me, Angels watched as He died for the lost, though He could have walked away, He chose the cross”. Isn’t it an amazing thought to think that no matter what we have done in our lives, the Son of God, Jesus Christ, came to earth as a baby in a manager, and hung on “the cross” for our sins and gave up His life so that we could live. I mean it’s the ultimate sacrifice….a debt He didn’t owe, a price that was far to great for us to pay, yet Jesus paid that ultimate price for us!!! WOW! I sit in awe of His mercy. I feel such a peace in my heart that I haven’t been able to feel for a while – a reassurance to know that know matter what, everything is somehow going to be ok.
Psalm 100:1-2a in the NIV says “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His” – I read this and I thought how amazing is this know matter what HE made US and WE are HIS. I love reading this in the Spanish Bible to those same scriptures Salmos 100:1 y 2 says – “Cantad alegres a Dios, habitants de toda la tierra. Servid a Jehová con alegría; Venid ante su presencia con regocijo” Just those very words spoken in the Bible today have truly made an impact in my mind.
Truly with everything that has went on for me on Sunday I can sing this chorus “My chains are gone, I’ve been set free, My God My Savior has ransomed me, and like a flood His mercy reigns, unending love, Amazing Grace.” I’m so thankful for that Amazing Grace, aren’t you?
the inner thoughts roll on...
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