WOW! Where has this year gone! I can't believe it's October already and I haven't written on my blog since the beginning of the year. This has definitely been a year for the books for me. No need in going into everything that has happened but let me say I know without a doubt that without my personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ guiding me I would probably be in a corner in the fetal position crying my eyes out!
Over the past few weeks in particular so many things have happened that are for lack of better word, life changing! Those moments will forever be in my head and most of them I would love to say were good, but then that would be a lie. I've learned over the past couple of years but especially in the last few months that life is life and how we react to the things that happen in our life determine how we will live.
Yeah that sounds so much easier typing it or saying it than actually doing it. There are days over the past few months that I'll be honest I did well to even get out of bed. Then there are days I felt terrific and I did alot on those days!
Today my heart is in a learning and soaking in pattern, I have "much assurance" as my uncle preached so beautifully last night at church. There were times in his message last night that I felt like it was just me, him and God having a conversation. I love when God does that! He is the Creator of the Universe, yet with all the billions of people on this planet, last night in at the East Radford Church of God in Virginia, I felt like He was talking just to me!
Isaiah 40:29 says He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. That's my scripture right now for sure and it is also my prayer. Do you ever feel that way? It wouldn't suprise me to know that alot would say yes! There are days when I feel so faint, so weak, but then I remember, in my weakness His strength is made perfect, and I would much rather walk in His strength than I would ever want to walk in mine!
My prayer today......Lord I know I'm not perfect, and I know that there are going to be days ahead when I feel faint and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. It's in those days I know Lord that in my weakness Your strength is perfect, and I'm never alone because You are always there with me. It's on those days I know you are increasing my strength and on those days I know that if I can't see Your footprints in the sand it's because You are carrying me! Thank You for Your unconditional love to me!....In Jesus name! Amen....
Monday, October 10, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
What a time what a time
So as you can tell it has been a while since I have been here to blog! There has been so much going on in my life. Much more than I have time to explain right now but maybe one day.
Things have been so frustrating for me of late but I am trying not to let it get me down. I went to Honduras in November which was so exciting for me. I really really wish I was still there. I had such a great time. So maybe since I am getting back into the whole blogging motion again, finally I will be posting some photos and alot about my experiences there.
This past year has been stressful for me since I am currently still unemployed and looking for a job and at the same time am having to deal with some other things in my life.
I titled my blog what a time what a time because if I could place you in my head right now you would be having a time....the way I feel and the way I see myself right now is that I'm invisible but at the same time I'm so lost in my own memories and feelings that I'm on a horrible rollercoaster!
So this year I hope that I will be much more connected and real than last year. So get ready invisible or not -- I'm going to be blogging at least once a week this year!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...and this ride is getting faster
La Trish!
Things have been so frustrating for me of late but I am trying not to let it get me down. I went to Honduras in November which was so exciting for me. I really really wish I was still there. I had such a great time. So maybe since I am getting back into the whole blogging motion again, finally I will be posting some photos and alot about my experiences there.
This past year has been stressful for me since I am currently still unemployed and looking for a job and at the same time am having to deal with some other things in my life.
I titled my blog what a time what a time because if I could place you in my head right now you would be having a time....the way I feel and the way I see myself right now is that I'm invisible but at the same time I'm so lost in my own memories and feelings that I'm on a horrible rollercoaster!
So this year I hope that I will be much more connected and real than last year. So get ready invisible or not -- I'm going to be blogging at least once a week this year!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...and this ride is getting faster
La Trish!
Friday, October 8, 2010
On a day like this....
As a kid me and my sister used to sing this little silly song and to be honest I'm not even sure where we heard it, but it went "On a day like this On a day like this On a day like this Oh....I need the Lord to help me" and after you said oh you had to do different things like clap, stomp your feet, and make different sounds and the song went on over and over like that about 5 times. It was a funny song to sing and it never failed with us that we would sing it until we got on Dad or Mom's nerves - cause we always sang it when we were in the car riding somewhere!
It's funny that I think about that song because this past week has been one of those weeks and while I haven't went around singing that song Ihave thought on some days on a day like this boy do I ever need the Lord to help me! I think I've went through tons of emotions this week but in the end I stand on God's promises knowing that no matter what comes my way that He is faitful and He will take care of me!!!
While I was thinking about that song I kept thinking on the joy we used to got out of singing that song until it annoyed someone when we were litte and even now we sing it for my neice and she thinks it's funny. The thing about that song is not that were every having a bad day - it's just a funny song that you really sing it because of the different songs and hand jestures you make. I'm convinced that my sister and I didn't even realize what we were really singing until the song was so stuck in our head that we can't get rid of it.
I think that's how we are sometimes! As a Christian sometimes we let the world get us so aggrivated that we just feel like giving up, when really what we should be doing insead of singing about how frustrated we are, we should be singing songs like "Stand Still and let God move" or "From the depths of my heart Lord I'm calling out to you" or songs like "I am not forgotten I am not forgotten He knows my name!"
So I say lets purpose for this week to overcome those things that are weighting us down!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Trish D
It's funny that I think about that song because this past week has been one of those weeks and while I haven't went around singing that song Ihave thought on some days on a day like this boy do I ever need the Lord to help me! I think I've went through tons of emotions this week but in the end I stand on God's promises knowing that no matter what comes my way that He is faitful and He will take care of me!!!
While I was thinking about that song I kept thinking on the joy we used to got out of singing that song until it annoyed someone when we were litte and even now we sing it for my neice and she thinks it's funny. The thing about that song is not that were every having a bad day - it's just a funny song that you really sing it because of the different songs and hand jestures you make. I'm convinced that my sister and I didn't even realize what we were really singing until the song was so stuck in our head that we can't get rid of it.
I think that's how we are sometimes! As a Christian sometimes we let the world get us so aggrivated that we just feel like giving up, when really what we should be doing insead of singing about how frustrated we are, we should be singing songs like "Stand Still and let God move" or "From the depths of my heart Lord I'm calling out to you" or songs like "I am not forgotten I am not forgotten He knows my name!"
So I say lets purpose for this week to overcome those things that are weighting us down!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Trish D
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Riding solo....
So in about 2 weeks I will officially been unemployed for a year! I've been riding solo on unemployment for almost a year. I honestly look at this time in my life and go how is this happening to me!!! I have been more than frustrated to say the least about everything that has happened to me over this past year. I've cried more tears than anyone can imagine. Honestly I don't think my family have realized even how many nights I have cried myself to sleep. To be honest my self esteem has been at like a negative 3o lately. I honestly can't even get an interview with anybody and what is so frustrating is because I don't know what else to do. I'm like I look at my resume and I have this huge black spot that says you've been fired and that is beyond frustrating to me especially when I feel like I've been a model employee everywhere else I worked. I used to get promoted easily with every other job and then after 3 years at being one job they decided that I wasn't good enough. Clearly it couldn't have come at a worse time considering the week before all this happened I had to resign my positions at our church of 13 years because the church decided they wanted a pastoral change and since my dad was the pastor that meant I had to be forced out to. So this year of I call it riding solo is because I've been over the top stressed with no job so that means no income and then on top of that I had to go through a church change. Honestly I might be riding solo in this stress filled time in my life but I'm not really because obivously I have a relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and He is in complete control. I trust that He sees the future and He knows what I need and everything will workout and so in the meantime I just have to ride the unemployment train solo and know that I have my families support and prayers even if I can't explain to them how I truly feel.......
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sleepy take over
As I sit here and right I don't feel the least bit energized about anything. I should be so full of life life, so ready to take the world by storm. I mean isn't that how we, as Christians, are always supposed to be? I mean isn't that what we've always been told is that were not supposed to have a bad day, that were never supposed to get down or depressed or heaven forbid we might get a little discouraged. Well here's what I think -- while I'm sitting here at my desk so sleepy any minute now I know someone's going to be waking me up and I'm going to have the imprint of the keys I'm typing on in my office on my head, I'm not exactly exuding God's love or am I being very jubilant.
What I am being is a human being who at the worst of time and days like these when i'm having the sleepies take over my life, I'm being the imperfect being that God loves and gave His son to die for me. I'm that person who is in the need of a little grace, and you know if it weren't for "Grace, Grace, God's grace, grace that will pardon and cleanse within, grace grace, God's grace, grace that is greater than all my sins" Where would we be without grace? Well without grace I will be the one that someone sees asleep or tired and yells at but with grace I'm the person that they see has been working long hard hours for over a week and while yes I probably do have other things going on like lack of iron or b12 in my system, I'm the person who could just use a nap and a break and a few things to go my way today instead of how they've been going.
Most importantly though I hope that people realize that although I'm not always overjubilant or always wearing my most perfect smile, if I have a day like today with no makeup, hair pulled back, glasses on and very tired looking eyes, that I've just be through a storm of life and God's all sufficient grace, power and mercy are sustaining me and while I may look a little weathered today, I'm going shine like gold someday real soon!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
What I am being is a human being who at the worst of time and days like these when i'm having the sleepies take over my life, I'm being the imperfect being that God loves and gave His son to die for me. I'm that person who is in the need of a little grace, and you know if it weren't for "Grace, Grace, God's grace, grace that will pardon and cleanse within, grace grace, God's grace, grace that is greater than all my sins" Where would we be without grace? Well without grace I will be the one that someone sees asleep or tired and yells at but with grace I'm the person that they see has been working long hard hours for over a week and while yes I probably do have other things going on like lack of iron or b12 in my system, I'm the person who could just use a nap and a break and a few things to go my way today instead of how they've been going.
Most importantly though I hope that people realize that although I'm not always overjubilant or always wearing my most perfect smile, if I have a day like today with no makeup, hair pulled back, glasses on and very tired looking eyes, that I've just be through a storm of life and God's all sufficient grace, power and mercy are sustaining me and while I may look a little weathered today, I'm going shine like gold someday real soon!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Monday, June 14, 2010
Frustrating now....
So everybody is always talking about how we should be living in the "now", living for today! Yes I know that's what Im supposed to be doing, but what happens when your "now" is so frustrating you'd like to escape to some place far away and have a do-over day!
I can honestly say that over the last few months of my life I have had more than my share of do-over day wishes. I know most will not agree with me on the fact that I should want that but hey your not living my life and going through what I have been and am still going through, I think that my personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, understands that somedays, life is just life and it's a "frustrating now" and I want a "happy now" a "peaceful now" a "sanity now". Not to much to ask for is it? Maybe, maybe that's the key is that I'm not realistic in how I feel my life should be going. but I guess when you have to leave your church (of 13 years), lose your job (of 3 years) and have several other "big issues" happen all within 3 weeks of each other, reality is the last place you want to be, although I have been living it for 6 + months now.
I get up and I face each day with the hopes and thoughts and actions that this day is going to be a better day than yesterday, and for the most part that is generally what happens. Then there are my days where I have been for the last several weeks with writer's block so bad that I couldn't even pick out a song to send to my music club and forget blogging, I done good to be able to write my name somedays, that's just the kind of writer's block I was under in my "frustrating now".
However, today feels like a new day! It feels like a better day, I woke up this morning and had music in my heart and mind and the song choice for my music club was so simple, and then to blog to them as I should, it's like God opened the well of my soul and all the "frustrating now" moments disippated, disolved, went away, and words wonderful words and thoughts started to flow out of my head and heart, and well they had to go on paper (well blog) so alot is going through my head and heart today!!!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Trish
I can honestly say that over the last few months of my life I have had more than my share of do-over day wishes. I know most will not agree with me on the fact that I should want that but hey your not living my life and going through what I have been and am still going through, I think that my personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, understands that somedays, life is just life and it's a "frustrating now" and I want a "happy now" a "peaceful now" a "sanity now". Not to much to ask for is it? Maybe, maybe that's the key is that I'm not realistic in how I feel my life should be going. but I guess when you have to leave your church (of 13 years), lose your job (of 3 years) and have several other "big issues" happen all within 3 weeks of each other, reality is the last place you want to be, although I have been living it for 6 + months now.
I get up and I face each day with the hopes and thoughts and actions that this day is going to be a better day than yesterday, and for the most part that is generally what happens. Then there are my days where I have been for the last several weeks with writer's block so bad that I couldn't even pick out a song to send to my music club and forget blogging, I done good to be able to write my name somedays, that's just the kind of writer's block I was under in my "frustrating now".
However, today feels like a new day! It feels like a better day, I woke up this morning and had music in my heart and mind and the song choice for my music club was so simple, and then to blog to them as I should, it's like God opened the well of my soul and all the "frustrating now" moments disippated, disolved, went away, and words wonderful words and thoughts started to flow out of my head and heart, and well they had to go on paper (well blog) so alot is going through my head and heart today!!!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Trish
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Living in the bubble....
So life has been more than a little stressful for quite some time now! I don't have to go into the details, just suffice it to say that I have been unemploymed since September, among many other things. So this week I had a very great, very thankful, opportunity and it has made me realize a couple things.
This week I had the opportunity to spend time with some dear sweet friends at a place I used to call home, a place I worked at for 5 years. While being here with all of them has been wonderful and exactly what I needed, it has also reminded me that, I miss this. What do you miss? I miss working! That's right I said it, I miss working!
So many times we get caught up in what I call "living in the bubble" we get up, we get ready, we go to our jobs, we come home, we eat supper, we watch tv, we get online, we go to bed, we go to sleep, and then when the alarm goes off we get up and do it again the next day. We run in a cycle, sometimes we run behind but were still in the cycle of our little bubble. Well I guess you can say I have for the last 6 months been in the bubble of unemployment and trust me people it's never the same ole same ole! I sleep later not because I need to but because I'm bored but more than that I'm stressed and that's how my body copes with stress, I sleep! Great way to hide Trish!!
This week however, I have had to get up and be at a place on time and I can't tell you how great that felt! It has been great, and yet all the while I think of the greatness, I know that next week, the bubble I wish that would pop called unemployment, will be my fate once again, and try as I might, and interview after interview, still yet I find no "working bubble", but as a great friend of my said to me the other day, "it is good to remember that the tea kettle, although up to its neck in hot water, continues to sing. I thank God for you because you continue to sing. Canta Trish, Canta!!!" (canta in spanish means sing!) I feel like that tea kettle the water "stress" around me is there but I will keep pushing forward and praying and seeking God's direction, and while I'm not in the "working bubble" yet, I'll keep fighting til I get back in there.
...these are my thoughts....
This week I had the opportunity to spend time with some dear sweet friends at a place I used to call home, a place I worked at for 5 years. While being here with all of them has been wonderful and exactly what I needed, it has also reminded me that, I miss this. What do you miss? I miss working! That's right I said it, I miss working!
So many times we get caught up in what I call "living in the bubble" we get up, we get ready, we go to our jobs, we come home, we eat supper, we watch tv, we get online, we go to bed, we go to sleep, and then when the alarm goes off we get up and do it again the next day. We run in a cycle, sometimes we run behind but were still in the cycle of our little bubble. Well I guess you can say I have for the last 6 months been in the bubble of unemployment and trust me people it's never the same ole same ole! I sleep later not because I need to but because I'm bored but more than that I'm stressed and that's how my body copes with stress, I sleep! Great way to hide Trish!!
This week however, I have had to get up and be at a place on time and I can't tell you how great that felt! It has been great, and yet all the while I think of the greatness, I know that next week, the bubble I wish that would pop called unemployment, will be my fate once again, and try as I might, and interview after interview, still yet I find no "working bubble", but as a great friend of my said to me the other day, "it is good to remember that the tea kettle, although up to its neck in hot water, continues to sing. I thank God for you because you continue to sing. Canta Trish, Canta!!!" (canta in spanish means sing!) I feel like that tea kettle the water "stress" around me is there but I will keep pushing forward and praying and seeking God's direction, and while I'm not in the "working bubble" yet, I'll keep fighting til I get back in there.
...these are my thoughts....
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Frustrations through trials
We've all been there haven't we? Those days when we are so frustrated with things we are going through, that we start to ask a million questions. Those days when it seems have it that saying we always here "when it rains it pours" is happening to you.
Lately that's where I feel like I have been every single day. From dealing with unemployment, dealing with family issues, changing churches, and many other things that we just won't get started on that things have seemed a bit stressed for me lately. I would be lying if I said everything was just peachy, but I'm getting there.
I love God's sense of humor when it comes to times in our lives like this. I have been so stressed and frustrated and things have been overwhelming to me and in the midst of all that I decided to take a trip to my grandparents house and spend some time with them, and that's where God showed me a little reminder. I was talking to my Mommaw this morning and she had some old photo albums out that belonged to my Great Grandmother and I picked one up. When I opened this cover I found that my Great Grandmother had written down the words to the poem "footprints" (author unknown). The words seemed to jump off the page at me and once again just gave me more confirmation that even though there are frustrations going on in my life through these trials, they are just trials and they will pass and I will come out of this much better!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Lately that's where I feel like I have been every single day. From dealing with unemployment, dealing with family issues, changing churches, and many other things that we just won't get started on that things have seemed a bit stressed for me lately. I would be lying if I said everything was just peachy, but I'm getting there.
I love God's sense of humor when it comes to times in our lives like this. I have been so stressed and frustrated and things have been overwhelming to me and in the midst of all that I decided to take a trip to my grandparents house and spend some time with them, and that's where God showed me a little reminder. I was talking to my Mommaw this morning and she had some old photo albums out that belonged to my Great Grandmother and I picked one up. When I opened this cover I found that my Great Grandmother had written down the words to the poem "footprints" (author unknown). The words seemed to jump off the page at me and once again just gave me more confirmation that even though there are frustrations going on in my life through these trials, they are just trials and they will pass and I will come out of this much better!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Struggles within.....
Struggles we all have them, we certainly all face them, but it's how we handle them that makes us all so different. Here recently I have been struggling with some things but ultimately I know that I haven't been handling it very well at all.
So when we struggle where to we go to? I know for me I run to my personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I run to Him for everything. I realize that in my life I have so many struggles but no matter the struggles I am so blessed! Ultimately we have to realize that everything in life is not going to be a bed of roses! I am so thankful that no matter what I go through I realize that "I can do all things through Christ!"
Time management has been such a struggle for me here lately and I am trying to do better - so one of my challenges for myself is to make more of a schedule for myself and really work on those things that I feel I need to change in my life.
So I am a little rambly today but I have so many thoughts going through my head and I know that this struggles they will past and like a beautiful Kirk Franklin song I love says There is going to be a brighter day!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
So when we struggle where to we go to? I know for me I run to my personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I run to Him for everything. I realize that in my life I have so many struggles but no matter the struggles I am so blessed! Ultimately we have to realize that everything in life is not going to be a bed of roses! I am so thankful that no matter what I go through I realize that "I can do all things through Christ!"
Time management has been such a struggle for me here lately and I am trying to do better - so one of my challenges for myself is to make more of a schedule for myself and really work on those things that I feel I need to change in my life.
So I am a little rambly today but I have so many thoughts going through my head and I know that this struggles they will past and like a beautiful Kirk Franklin song I love says There is going to be a brighter day!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Monday, December 14, 2009
More about trip
So its been just a little bit since I have blogged again maybe one of these days I will get my act together and get this to be a daily blog.
One thing that was so great for me on this Honduras trip was that I got to spend time with my sis Carolina's family. It was so exciting to get to spend a few nights at their home. My Honduras mama fixes some of the best coffee. I'm not sure how she fixes it but it is so delicious! Everyday they would fix us breakfast and dinner and it is always delicious. I was so blessed to get to spend so much time with them. They all feel like family to me well they are family to me and so getting to spend that special time at their house was great. Getting to see my neices Alejandra, Yasseli, Andrea and my nephew Edwin everyday was a treasured moment I won't soon forget. Hanging with my sister Carolina and hanging with my brother Ariel was awesome.
It was awesome getting to do that and getting to spend time with my other Hondurian family the Alvarez family. Getting to see Ever, Yojana, Ivan, Olga, Sessia and Diane everyday was a great thing. Every night I think we sat in front of my laptop and looked at photos we had taken of the day and of videos from the day.
There are so many memories that I will never forget and that I think of daily and I can't wait to share more with you!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Photo credits: me - photo of my sis and my neice (Carolina and Alejandra)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
What a trip....
What a trip! Yea I'm talking about Honduras....by far this was the best year yet of all the years I have been going to Honduras.... my heart is so full of so many things. I saw so many great things!
I sat on the veranda of the Hotel Shalom and I looked at all the things we had to give to the children for Christmas and my heart became so full to know that these children were going to get such a wonderful Christmas gift. It also made my heart break to know that I wanted to give those children so much more.
There were so many wonderful things that happened. I will try to take the next few blogs and share what God did for me there. One thing I will always cherish is the quality time I got to spend with my girls, my sisters and my neices (they are Hondurian but they are family). I will so cherish the time I got to spend with Yasseli, Andrea, Sessia, and Diane, Alejandra, Carolina, Yojana, Olga; and the with boys like Ever, Ivan, Edwin, and others. I hope to share lots of photos of them on here soon! Soon I will share lots with you my heart is so full. The photo is of Yojana, Me, and Olga.
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
And the World spins too fast....
So what has been going on with my life as of late…well what hasn’t been happening lately would be the more appropriate question. I started out this year in one of the biggest struggles mentally I have ever been in my life. Lots of crazy things have happened and it’s just way to complicated to go into all the details but it just seems that it has been one thing after another.
So here’s what I can say….I now blog as a unemployed person. I was let go from my position and the why’s and the answers to the why’s make me mad, sad, and feeling completely worthless and as I said before going still through the biggest mental struggle of my life. All I can say is now I have to look for a new job, but what I can say is this….I know God will provide for me. I understand that people are selfish in their thoughts and I didn’t exactly fit the mold they thought I should, so you know what I say to that, do what you want you will answer for those things, but I serve a risen Savior who is going to take care of me and I know that He is going to be with me through this whole situation.
The one thing I can say is now I have the time I have been wanting to blog and get caught up on my writing. I have always thought of the idea of writing a book and so maybe this will be the time I can work on it since I have already started it.
So with everything that has happened this year why do I say that the world spins too fast, because truthfully I spent this whole year working every single day - my regular job - a part time job - and then a job I volunteer at -- and it seems this year has flown by and I haven’t gotten to do half of what I needed/wanted to do but now the full time job is gone, I finished the part time job, and the volunteer job went away as well, so now my world has slowed and while I’m in a lot of pain emotionally and mentally, it’s a brand new period for me and my world doesn’t quite spin so fast anymore.
Looking for the great possibilities ahead!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
So here’s what I can say….I now blog as a unemployed person. I was let go from my position and the why’s and the answers to the why’s make me mad, sad, and feeling completely worthless and as I said before going still through the biggest mental struggle of my life. All I can say is now I have to look for a new job, but what I can say is this….I know God will provide for me. I understand that people are selfish in their thoughts and I didn’t exactly fit the mold they thought I should, so you know what I say to that, do what you want you will answer for those things, but I serve a risen Savior who is going to take care of me and I know that He is going to be with me through this whole situation.
The one thing I can say is now I have the time I have been wanting to blog and get caught up on my writing. I have always thought of the idea of writing a book and so maybe this will be the time I can work on it since I have already started it.
So with everything that has happened this year why do I say that the world spins too fast, because truthfully I spent this whole year working every single day - my regular job - a part time job - and then a job I volunteer at -- and it seems this year has flown by and I haven’t gotten to do half of what I needed/wanted to do but now the full time job is gone, I finished the part time job, and the volunteer job went away as well, so now my world has slowed and while I’m in a lot of pain emotionally and mentally, it’s a brand new period for me and my world doesn’t quite spin so fast anymore.
Looking for the great possibilities ahead!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Friday, July 31, 2009
The randomness in my head
My head is so full today and so my head feels rambled but this is how I am feeling currently…..
The Lord has blessed me in so many ways even though I am walking through some really tough mental and emotional and even physical things right now I am so blessed. For several weeks now in services at church, well even at churches that I have visited God has been speaking some things to me. I am still patiently waiting and letting Him lead me and guide me but this journey has definitely began.
I know that I will be needing lots of prayer with decisions and things to come in the future but everyday I am trusting God and letting Him lead me. I know that this battle that I am in is not going to be easy it is going to be hard but as the song by the Crabb Family says “He will take you through the fire again!” He has not left me and He never will -- He is my source….and I am trusting in Him daily, hourly, minute by minute, second by second!!!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
The Lord has blessed me in so many ways even though I am walking through some really tough mental and emotional and even physical things right now I am so blessed. For several weeks now in services at church, well even at churches that I have visited God has been speaking some things to me. I am still patiently waiting and letting Him lead me and guide me but this journey has definitely began.
I know that I will be needing lots of prayer with decisions and things to come in the future but everyday I am trusting God and letting Him lead me. I know that this battle that I am in is not going to be easy it is going to be hard but as the song by the Crabb Family says “He will take you through the fire again!” He has not left me and He never will -- He is my source….and I am trusting in Him daily, hourly, minute by minute, second by second!!!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Friday, July 24, 2009
28 years....
28 years ago @ 1:38 am on July 24…. The year would have been 1981….what do I remember about that day….well nothing…but what I know is that was the moment that I entered this world. You know how when you get to a point in your life and you realize that most everything your parents and grandparents have been saying that you laughed at….it really is happening. I mean I sit at my computer tonight, at 11:00 pm thinking that in just a few short hours I will be 28 years old….I mean that’s just a few years from 30 and I can no longer say I’m in my early or even mid 20’s I’m in my late 20’s….this realization may seem so under dramatic to anyone else but to me…well this is a huge moment…cause at this moment as I have heard my grandparents and my parents say so often…one day you’ll look back and say…where has the time gone….I used to laugh when they would say that but you know what I look back and I say…WOW where did the past 28 years go.
I have been doing a lot of remembering of things over the past few days – I get nostalgic at every birthday but the past few days have been something else for me. I was in a church service recently with my uncle Wayne and he said to me… I remember when you were a baby bouncing you on my knee and singing T for Texas and T for Tennessee…..and then thinking about my dad being at Virginia Church of God Youth Camp this week…I remember all those years at youth camp celebrating my birthday there or the day we were going home…memories so precious locked away in the vault of my mind, they are so dear and so precious to me, and with everything going on in my life right now…I treasure those precious memories and moments even more….. so should the Lord delay His coming until tomorrow morning July 24, 2009….when I get to post this online…I will be 28 years old….and while things are rough now….and will be smoothing out soon I know….I can rest assured that the memories that have been carrying in my mind, and the peace that Christ is giving me daily… the best is yet to come!!! SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! FELIZ CUMPLEANOS!!!!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
I have been doing a lot of remembering of things over the past few days – I get nostalgic at every birthday but the past few days have been something else for me. I was in a church service recently with my uncle Wayne and he said to me… I remember when you were a baby bouncing you on my knee and singing T for Texas and T for Tennessee…..and then thinking about my dad being at Virginia Church of God Youth Camp this week…I remember all those years at youth camp celebrating my birthday there or the day we were going home…memories so precious locked away in the vault of my mind, they are so dear and so precious to me, and with everything going on in my life right now…I treasure those precious memories and moments even more….. so should the Lord delay His coming until tomorrow morning July 24, 2009….when I get to post this online…I will be 28 years old….and while things are rough now….and will be smoothing out soon I know….I can rest assured that the memories that have been carrying in my mind, and the peace that Christ is giving me daily… the best is yet to come!!! SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! FELIZ CUMPLEANOS!!!!
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Oh what a tangled web....
Oh what a tangled web we weave when life we feel we lose control. That thought comes to my mind so often of late and as much as I try to stop it I know that the only way to get out of this web is to fight the spider and smash the web to pieces.
As crazy as that sounds that's how I feel at this point in my life - I have so much to share - and some I will share when I am able -- but for now
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on... and I shall post something much better than this very soon I promise -- my mind is full of so many things -- and it's screaming to get out
As crazy as that sounds that's how I feel at this point in my life - I have so much to share - and some I will share when I am able -- but for now
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on... and I shall post something much better than this very soon I promise -- my mind is full of so many things -- and it's screaming to get out
Saturday, June 6, 2009
When is enough - enough?
As you can tell I have been a little silent on the blog front lately -- not because I have wanted to be but job and stress and other things have kept me from being able to write like I needed to. So this got me to thinking -- when is enough stress enough? I think I have been maxed out emotional and mentally for some time but now its seems I'm on overload. Ever been there before? I am to the point where try as I might I don't feel like I can get a cohesive thought process to form. Today is just a ramble of thoughts but it is because I truly want to know -- have you ever been to a point where you just have to say - with stress and other things and even sometimes people -- enough is really enough and I'm not dealing well with this -- so give me a minute?
Cause I think I may be there on a few things!......
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Cause I think I may be there on a few things!......
these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...
Monday, March 23, 2009
Faith…can it move mountains?
Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” When I think of this scripture sometimes I ask myself where is my faith? Do I have faith that beyond any circumstance I know that God is going to take care of me and my every need.
You see for the past several months my car has been acting a bit crazy – sometimes not wanting to accelerate; sometimes just not going at all or dying on me; it’s also burning oil and I know this sounds like I’m complaining but please don’t see it as that. The reason I say that is because you have to understand something about my car – I bought my car brand new with 4 miles on it in 1999. It is a 1998 model but still it was brand new. When I got that car and then got married a few years later and realized I really didn’t have the money to get another car I made the statement to someone that I would drive my car until the wheels fell off and then I would put the wheels back on and keep driving….I have faith in my car that it’s going to get me where I need it. Well now I sit here and know that my car has 255,389 miles on it, but I still will sit and make the same statement, because I have faith that the little car I drive is going to stick around for a while….but more than that…I have to look at it this way…. I don’t have faith that the car can get me around and not mess up, I’m relying on God!
I know that my car is old and I know that I need a new one, but I also live in a reality to know that I can’t afford a new one right now, my husband and I combined barely make enough money to pay the bills, but this is the part that I love about reading Hebrews 11:1 - I don’t put my faith in this world because faith is the substance of things hoped for and it’s the evidence of things not seen. You see I don’t put my trust in man or the economy I put my trust in my Savior, Jesus Christ.
When you think of it this way – faith can move mountains – you see I realize something – that my faith in God is so strong and it is growing everyday – I have faith that when I go to bed tonight that God has dispatched His angels to protect me; I have faith to know that when I wake up in the morning that I’ll have a hot shower to take, I’ll have clothes to wear, and I will walk outside and get in my car and it’s going to run! That’s how I know that no matter what I am going through – no matter what I face in my day – yes I struggle and I get frustrated but FAITH! Let me say that again – but FAITH – can and will move the mountains that are in my way – and when I have to walk up one of those mountains I know that God will give me the strength to climb them – and I know that even though I can’t physically see Him – He’s always there for me and He will always be there to see me through – if I just keep my trust and Faith in Him!
the inner thoughts roll on...
You see for the past several months my car has been acting a bit crazy – sometimes not wanting to accelerate; sometimes just not going at all or dying on me; it’s also burning oil and I know this sounds like I’m complaining but please don’t see it as that. The reason I say that is because you have to understand something about my car – I bought my car brand new with 4 miles on it in 1999. It is a 1998 model but still it was brand new. When I got that car and then got married a few years later and realized I really didn’t have the money to get another car I made the statement to someone that I would drive my car until the wheels fell off and then I would put the wheels back on and keep driving….I have faith in my car that it’s going to get me where I need it. Well now I sit here and know that my car has 255,389 miles on it, but I still will sit and make the same statement, because I have faith that the little car I drive is going to stick around for a while….but more than that…I have to look at it this way…. I don’t have faith that the car can get me around and not mess up, I’m relying on God!
I know that my car is old and I know that I need a new one, but I also live in a reality to know that I can’t afford a new one right now, my husband and I combined barely make enough money to pay the bills, but this is the part that I love about reading Hebrews 11:1 - I don’t put my faith in this world because faith is the substance of things hoped for and it’s the evidence of things not seen. You see I don’t put my trust in man or the economy I put my trust in my Savior, Jesus Christ.
When you think of it this way – faith can move mountains – you see I realize something – that my faith in God is so strong and it is growing everyday – I have faith that when I go to bed tonight that God has dispatched His angels to protect me; I have faith to know that when I wake up in the morning that I’ll have a hot shower to take, I’ll have clothes to wear, and I will walk outside and get in my car and it’s going to run! That’s how I know that no matter what I am going through – no matter what I face in my day – yes I struggle and I get frustrated but FAITH! Let me say that again – but FAITH – can and will move the mountains that are in my way – and when I have to walk up one of those mountains I know that God will give me the strength to climb them – and I know that even though I can’t physically see Him – He’s always there for me and He will always be there to see me through – if I just keep my trust and Faith in Him!
the inner thoughts roll on...
Friday, March 13, 2009
It's in my brain....it's in my heart
Today as I was working at paperwork at the office I caught the glimpse of a picture of a friend of mine. This friend is not your ordinary type of friend, I don’t get to see this friend everyday, I don’t even get to talk to him, but he reminds a dear sweet friend. My friend Ever is from San Marcos de Colon Honduras CA. I’ve got to spend only mere days with him on missions’ trips I have been on over the last three years.
The reason I guess I thought about him was because of a song that was in my head. It is a praise and worship chorus “Open the Eyes of My Heart”. This song has a powerful meaning to me because of being in Honduras hearing Ever sing this song. Ever is a young man whose heart is so humble and I admire him so much. He wants to go to school and learn English to become a translator and to be able to travel with us and translate for us when we come to Honduras and then one day he dreams of coming to the United States and preaching the Gospel of Christ and doing so both in English and Spanish.
Even typing this blog now I can here Ever singing, “Holy Holy Holy, I want to see you” – the most beautiful English words I’ve ever heard sang. They may not mean much to anyone else, but Ever is just learning English so he’s vocabulary and our communication with each other has to be done through a translator, but when “Open the Eyes of My Heart” is sang, he can sing those words in English and we don’t need a translator to express the power of those few words. The thing is it’s part of the way I’ve also been able to learn Spanish which I am trying my hardest to do so I can talk to all my friends in Honduras without a translator. You see when Ever sings “Holy Holy Holy I want to see you” I sing “Santo Santo Santo yo quiero verde”
Because of the day I was having those words just keep playing over and over in my mind, I would love to be able to hear him singing them now but it’s in my brain, and it’s in my heart, and I know that God placed that song in my mind today, because it’s exactly what I needed to do…Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord I want to see You!
the inner thoughts roll on...
The reason I guess I thought about him was because of a song that was in my head. It is a praise and worship chorus “Open the Eyes of My Heart”. This song has a powerful meaning to me because of being in Honduras hearing Ever sing this song. Ever is a young man whose heart is so humble and I admire him so much. He wants to go to school and learn English to become a translator and to be able to travel with us and translate for us when we come to Honduras and then one day he dreams of coming to the United States and preaching the Gospel of Christ and doing so both in English and Spanish.
Even typing this blog now I can here Ever singing, “Holy Holy Holy, I want to see you” – the most beautiful English words I’ve ever heard sang. They may not mean much to anyone else, but Ever is just learning English so he’s vocabulary and our communication with each other has to be done through a translator, but when “Open the Eyes of My Heart” is sang, he can sing those words in English and we don’t need a translator to express the power of those few words. The thing is it’s part of the way I’ve also been able to learn Spanish which I am trying my hardest to do so I can talk to all my friends in Honduras without a translator. You see when Ever sings “Holy Holy Holy I want to see you” I sing “Santo Santo Santo yo quiero verde”
Because of the day I was having those words just keep playing over and over in my mind, I would love to be able to hear him singing them now but it’s in my brain, and it’s in my heart, and I know that God placed that song in my mind today, because it’s exactly what I needed to do…Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord I want to see You!
the inner thoughts roll on...
Monday, March 9, 2009
What a Sunday....
I’m sitting at my desk at home thinking about the wonderful services of Sunday. How God truly blessed in our lives today. It still amazes me how God in His infinite grace and mercy cares enough to speak to me.
My dad and I sang at song at church Sunday night by “The Crabb Family” the title of the song was called “The Cross” and while my female voice can’t sing it like Jason Crabb does the words to that song are so powerful and they have such a great meaning. The chorus of that song says “There was a cross made for the Son of God at Calvary, Two pieces of rough timber on a hill, through His hands and through His feet, He took the nails for you and me, Angels watched as He died for the lost, though He could have walked away, He chose the cross”. Isn’t it an amazing thought to think that no matter what we have done in our lives, the Son of God, Jesus Christ, came to earth as a baby in a manager, and hung on “the cross” for our sins and gave up His life so that we could live. I mean it’s the ultimate sacrifice….a debt He didn’t owe, a price that was far to great for us to pay, yet Jesus paid that ultimate price for us!!! WOW! I sit in awe of His mercy. I feel such a peace in my heart that I haven’t been able to feel for a while – a reassurance to know that know matter what, everything is somehow going to be ok.
Psalm 100:1-2a in the NIV says “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His” – I read this and I thought how amazing is this know matter what HE made US and WE are HIS. I love reading this in the Spanish Bible to those same scriptures Salmos 100:1 y 2 says – “Cantad alegres a Dios, habitants de toda la tierra. Servid a Jehová con alegría; Venid ante su presencia con regocijo” Just those very words spoken in the Bible today have truly made an impact in my mind.
Truly with everything that has went on for me on Sunday I can sing this chorus “My chains are gone, I’ve been set free, My God My Savior has ransomed me, and like a flood His mercy reigns, unending love, Amazing Grace.” I’m so thankful for that Amazing Grace, aren’t you?
the inner thoughts roll on...
My dad and I sang at song at church Sunday night by “The Crabb Family” the title of the song was called “The Cross” and while my female voice can’t sing it like Jason Crabb does the words to that song are so powerful and they have such a great meaning. The chorus of that song says “There was a cross made for the Son of God at Calvary, Two pieces of rough timber on a hill, through His hands and through His feet, He took the nails for you and me, Angels watched as He died for the lost, though He could have walked away, He chose the cross”. Isn’t it an amazing thought to think that no matter what we have done in our lives, the Son of God, Jesus Christ, came to earth as a baby in a manager, and hung on “the cross” for our sins and gave up His life so that we could live. I mean it’s the ultimate sacrifice….a debt He didn’t owe, a price that was far to great for us to pay, yet Jesus paid that ultimate price for us!!! WOW! I sit in awe of His mercy. I feel such a peace in my heart that I haven’t been able to feel for a while – a reassurance to know that know matter what, everything is somehow going to be ok.
Psalm 100:1-2a in the NIV says “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His” – I read this and I thought how amazing is this know matter what HE made US and WE are HIS. I love reading this in the Spanish Bible to those same scriptures Salmos 100:1 y 2 says – “Cantad alegres a Dios, habitants de toda la tierra. Servid a Jehová con alegría; Venid ante su presencia con regocijo” Just those very words spoken in the Bible today have truly made an impact in my mind.
Truly with everything that has went on for me on Sunday I can sing this chorus “My chains are gone, I’ve been set free, My God My Savior has ransomed me, and like a flood His mercy reigns, unending love, Amazing Grace.” I’m so thankful for that Amazing Grace, aren’t you?
the inner thoughts roll on...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
What seems impossible....
I'm sitting in my sister's house this evening -- just hanging out with her and my nephew and niece and it's so exciting to be so close to her that I get to just come and hang out. My sister is after all my best friend so time with her and any time with my family is a great treasured thing.
I was sitting thinking about things just letting my mind wander a little and started thinking about the verse of scripture in Luke 18:27 -- it says " What is impossible with man is possible with God." I guess I thought about that cause I look at my sis and her hubby and their 2 kids and I think you know children is something I have always wanted and I've been married for 7 years now and so far that hasn't happened....but I know that it can and praying it will happen.
Then I got to thinking about an airplane ride that I have now taken 3 times....to know me is to know I have always always said that I would never fly -- and yet for 3 years in a row I have flown to Honduras to be apart of a missions team giving out toys to children in San Marcos de Colon Honduras! I have so many friends in Honduras now -- all these things seem so impossible to me -- but with God they are all possible.
I don't know why I decided to blog about it today other than to just tell someone -- if you are going through something and you don't think there is anyway that you can get out -- just remember -- what is impossible with man is possible with God! You just have to trust in Him, trust Him to do the work, and then know that it will happen.
the inner thoughts roll on...and hopefully it won't be so long until the next blog!
I was sitting thinking about things just letting my mind wander a little and started thinking about the verse of scripture in Luke 18:27 -- it says " What is impossible with man is possible with God." I guess I thought about that cause I look at my sis and her hubby and their 2 kids and I think you know children is something I have always wanted and I've been married for 7 years now and so far that hasn't happened....but I know that it can and praying it will happen.
Then I got to thinking about an airplane ride that I have now taken 3 times....to know me is to know I have always always said that I would never fly -- and yet for 3 years in a row I have flown to Honduras to be apart of a missions team giving out toys to children in San Marcos de Colon Honduras! I have so many friends in Honduras now -- all these things seem so impossible to me -- but with God they are all possible.
I don't know why I decided to blog about it today other than to just tell someone -- if you are going through something and you don't think there is anyway that you can get out -- just remember -- what is impossible with man is possible with God! You just have to trust in Him, trust Him to do the work, and then know that it will happen.
the inner thoughts roll on...and hopefully it won't be so long until the next blog!
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