Riding solo....

So in about 2 weeks I will officially been unemployed for a year! I've been riding solo on unemployment for almost a year. I honestly look at this time in my life and go how is this happening to me!!! I have been more than frustrated to say the least about everything that has happened to me over this past year. I've cried more tears than anyone can imagine. Honestly I don't think my family have realized even how many nights I have cried myself to sleep. To be honest my self esteem has been at like a negative 3o lately. I honestly can't even get an interview with anybody and what is so frustrating is because I don't know what else to do. I'm like I look at my resume and I have this huge black spot that says you've been fired and that is beyond frustrating to me especially when I feel like I've been a model employee everywhere else I worked. I used to get promoted easily with every other job and then after 3 years at being one job they decided that I wasn't good enough. Clearly it couldn't have come at a worse time considering the week before all this happened I had to resign my positions at our church of 13 years because the church decided they wanted a pastoral change and since my dad was the pastor that meant I had to be forced out to. So this year of I call it riding solo is because I've been over the top stressed with no job so that means no income and then on top of that I had to go through a church change. Honestly I might be riding solo in this stress filled time in my life but I'm not really because obivously I have a relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and He is in complete control. I trust that He sees the future and He knows what I need and everything will workout and so in the meantime I just have to ride the unemployment train solo and know that I have my families support and prayers even if I can't explain to them how I truly feel.......

these are my thoughts....my inner thoughts roll on...